The Emotional Paradox

I find it interesting how opposing emotional states can coexist.

I also find it interesting that we've been taught that that's not possible.

That you're either happy or sad
Angry/anxious or calm
That it's one or the other

That we have to stay stuck in fixed labels and can't find the middle ground where opposites can coexist.

And because we've been so heavily conditioned that in a given moment
you're either this or that
that you can't be both
you need to pick,
many seem to be unable to enjoy these more pleasant parts of their lives
the special parts
and the gifts

Because you can't

Because you have to pick
(and the more dominant state wins,
which is usually the more challenging one because that's how we're wired to survive)

And it gets in the way of our ability to access resource states in the darkest of times

It gets in the way of our ability to truly embrace the beautiful complexity of our humanity

And the coexistence of dark and light
Beauty and pain

And again we lose out on appreciating the richness and depth of what it means to be human

So yes it's a lot easier to 'just be happy' all the time
(As if that were a realistic possibility)

But there's a loss of depth when you can't see that the two can coexist

There is an immense emotional freedom we can access when we learn to hold and feel and honor seemingly opposing emotional states while they co-exist

And there's actually something really beautiful and poetic about this coexistence

And so what I would like to share with you today,
which is also something I'm working on with several of my clients
(and always exploring within myself) is this:

next time you're in a challenging state, I invite you to look for the part(s) of you that's an opposing state

while still cradling the challenging aspects of what you're going through,
not denying them
or sugarcoating them
or shoving them aside

But also looking for that resource part

It's in there at the very same time

It might be your resilience part
or your inspiration part
or peace part
or anything else you find

But it is there and it can coexist with the other, more "caught-in-the-storm" parts
in the hardest of times

In fact it's usually our awareness of that other aspect of ourselves, beyond the tornado of the overwhelming dominant state, that empowers us to pull through

What opposing states are you holding space for within you today?
Can you find them?

[Mine today are fatigue and inspired motivation - I seriously need a nap. Or better yet a vacation :)]