Understanding Anxiety
I don't think anxiety gets talked about enough.
In fact, I find that a lot of people get uncomfortable just by hearing the word anxiety.
And yet, it's so incredibly prevalent.
So we might as well get comfortable discussing it.
Last week I was talking to a friend and the conversation somehow took us to the time I began teaching yoga.
I mentioned how during my first 2-3 weeks of teaching, I used to get so intensely anxious before my classes that I would literally feel nauseous and be unable to eat for several hours before class.
Her reply was, "I didn't know you experienced that. I thought you were always very calm and collected about it and that you weren't someone who feels anxious."
Or something along those lines, I'm probably paraphrasing.
But this really got the wheels in my head turning.
To be very clear, I recognize that this sounds like a very mild experience of anxiety. I'm not trying to belittle what it is because I know how crippling it can feel and that there are people who deal with constant, intense anxiety every day.
I've definitely had life situations that triggered more intense experiences of anxiety than this one, and others that brought up smaller ones (think, those familiar butterflies you get in your stomach or being unable to sleep before a big event, etc.).
But what I really want to discuss are universal themes around anxiety that apply to anyone who experiences it and that we need to talk about and understand.
If you believe you've never experienced anxiety, this is extra important for you to read:
Dear person who experiences anxiety,
You are not alone (anxiety is a universal human experience. People just experience and perceive it in different ways)
It doesn't define you
Even if it's impossible to wrap your head around this, nothing is permanent. And that includes your anxiety
Let’s dig a little deeper into this:
1. You are not alone
A really fascinating part of my job is getting to work with the human psyche on a deeper level.
One thing I've learned by working with so many people is that we experience stress (anxiety is basically amplified stress) in different ways.
Some people get angry and snap at others, some have a hard time falling asleep, others might notice disruptions in their digestion when they're anxious.
Some people feel weak and feverish. Others feel shaky.
You get the picture. It might not fit the stereotype of what you imagine "anxiety" to be, but everyone gets it in their own way.
If you're someone who feels ashamed of feelings of anxiety, knowing you're not alone can take a lot of that shame out of the equation (more on that in a second).
(Quick note that anxiety only becomes considered a "disorder" when it interferes with your ability to live your life. It's not the severity of it that makes it a disorder but rather the point at which it stops you from going about your day. Remember that whether you fit into a disorder category or not, there are many different professionals and modalities you can reach out to for help and support should you choose to do so. If one isn’t the right fit for you, another one will be).
2. It doesn't define you
Notice that I keep using the term "you experience anxiety" and not "you're anxious."
Anxiety is not who you are and everything about you. It's an aspect that you're possibly dealing with at the moment but there is so much more to you than that.
If you're supporting a loved one with anxiety, it helps to remember this too. They will likely be comforted by you acknowledging what they're dealing with but also not treating them like that's all they are and forgetting that there's more to them than the anxiety they're feeling (this applies more to situations where the anxiety is chronic than when there's a temporary trigger).
A big point I want to bring up here is that the shame a lot of people feel around anxiety can really aggravate the situation.
Even with something as seemingly trivial as my early day pre-teaching anxiety (which certainly didn't feel like a small deal at the time), I remember feeling so ashamed of the fact that I got so nervous before teaching.
I thought it made me weak.
And meant I was fragile.
And the shame often makes the anxiety worse. It used to give me anxiety about the anxiety. Not a fun cycle I'll tell you that :)
So in addition to realizing that you're not alone (even if anyone around you tells you you're being unreasonably nervous or if you feel like what's causing your feelings of anxiety isn't worth it), understanding that you are not your anxiety is a great starting point to ditch any possible shame you have around your human emotions.
3. Nothing is permanent
When you're in an anxiety storm, it can sometimes feel like it's impossible for it to end.
And anyone who tells you otherwise might even sound like they don't know what they're talking about.
But it really truly can go away.
And what's even crazier, what is now an anxiety trigger for you might even become a comfort zone someday.
Teaching yoga classes is now my default. The easy safe mode to switch to.
If you told me that would be the case as I was about to walk into those first few classes, I don't know if I would have believed you.
Again, I know this is a simpler example, but anxiety is anxiety regardless of the intensity (and it feels shitty either way). And if other people got over it, then it's possible for you too (remember that it's a process and can be different for everyone, let yourself take the time you need).
Find the right support system, whether people in your life or professionals (ideally both) so you don’t have to walk this journey alone, and try things on until you find what works for you, in your own time.